What We Learned When We Asked: Where Am I in This?

What happens when five different people, facing five completely different situations, stop and ask the same question: Where am I in this?

In the Season 1 finale of WAIT, Let’s Talk About That, we’re looking back at the conversations, breakthroughs, and unexpected themes that surfaced throughout the season. From relationships and parenting to grief, self-worth, control, and the patterns we carry from our past, we revisit the moments when our anonymous guests began to see themselves and their situations differently.

We talk about the difference between control and influence, why we can be kinder to everyone but ourselves, what happens when fear of abandonment causes us to abandon ourselves, and why healing is less about reaching a finish line and more about learning to recognize yourself along the way.

We also share what surprised us most about this season, the moments that stayed with us long after recording ended, and what it actually looks like when the WAIT method moves from an idea into real life.

If you've been listening all season, this episode brings the threads together. And if you're new here, it might just be the perfect place to discover what one simple question can uncover:

Where am I in this?

Season 2 is coming soon, and we can’t wait to show you where we’re going next.

The WAIT, Let's Talk About That with Dr. Lee Long podcast is intended solely for general informational purposes and does not represent the practice of medicine, therapeutic and psychiatric services, nursing, or other professional health care services. It also does not constitute the provision of medical, therapeutic or psychiatric advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is established. The information on this podcast and any materials linked from it are used at the user's own risk. The content provided through this podcast should not be considered a replacement for professional medical, therapeutic, or psychiatric advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It is important that users do not ignore or postpone seeking medical, therapeutic, or psychiatric advice for any health or mental health condition they might have, and should always consult with their health care professionals regarding such conditions.

www.drleelong.com

Instagram: @dr.leelong

TikTok: @dr.leelong

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.leelong/

Dr. Lee Long’s book: WAIT, Where Am I in This on Amazon

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Cold Open: Fear Of Losing Self

SPEAKER_06 0:02

Because what I think I hear you saying is I don't want to lose myself.

SPEAKER_03 0:06

I don't want to lose myself, and I don't want there to be the option of getting hurt.

SPEAKER_05 0:13

I feel like I don't even think I'm a good guy.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

I really thought for a while, if I could just feel everything less and be less, relationships will be easier. I'll have more self-confidence. I'll have more peace.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

And I would be angry all the time. And sometimes I would lash out, and I didn't like that behavior from me.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

The feeling inside of me is frustration with him because I feel like we've gone over it so many times.

SPEAKER_06 0:40

And where did you find yourself at the end of that?

SPEAKER_04 0:45

Five different people, five completely different situations.

SPEAKER_06 0:50

And the common thread, it's the same question underneath every single one of them. Where am I in this?

Season Finale And The Big Idea

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Welcome to Waitless Talk About That. This is a podcast where real people work through real moments, live and anonymous. And I'm Lila Pond.

SPEAKER_06 1:10

And I'm Dr. Lee Long. And today's episode is a little different.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

Yep, no guests today. It's just us closing out the season.

SPEAKER_06 1:19

And a quick reminder before we dive in this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It's not therapy and does not create a counselor client relationship with our guests. This season, we sat down for eight episodes with anonymous guests and walked through real conflicts using the wait method. Today, we're going back through it.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

And the best moments, too, the threads that kept repeating and some of our own takes on the season.

SPEAKER_06 1:53

Wait stands for where am I in this? It's also a prompt for the pause. The pause that helps us answer the question, where am I in this moment in this situation?

Four Questions That Slow You Down

SPEAKER_06 2:11

And there's four questions underneath it that help us if we get stuck. And it's what am I thinking? And not, oh my gosh, what am I thinking? No, it's a gentle question, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I believing? And what am I experiencing?

SPEAKER_04 2:31

Oh, that question showed up in every single conversation we had this season in ways that really none of us expected going in.

SPEAKER_06 2:41

Including me. I had no idea what to expect from these interviews, but wow, they did not disappoint.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

First up, a successful single guy who realized he didn't actually know what he believed about himself, just what he thought other people believed about him. That seems to be a common theme, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_05 3:01

Oh boy. It almost feels like a blank wall. The attentions and affirmation, if it's from friends or if it's from a woman, like it just hits the blank wall and falls off.

SPEAKER_06 3:13

Yes. It's more about self-understanding. Because like when you use the blank wall analogy, to me, it's like somebody throws their coat up against the wall, like they throw something to you, and there's no hook for it to stick on. And the light being shown on the blank wall might actually be the theme that helps us understand those vague scribbles. Hmm, dude, you're good. That's a beautiful picture.

SPEAKER_05 3:37

Cause I I would say, like, I think for all people, but I'll I'll speak for myself. Like, I know some of the intrapersonal self-worth or like some of those things. I know who I am in some manner. And yes.

Self-Worth And The Blank Wall

SPEAKER_05 3:50

I have known. Yes. And the scribbles have, I don't know if they've eroded or what, like they're there to your point. I haven't really explored them to enlarge them or turn the scribbles into a sharpie.

SPEAKER_06 4:06

That's the difference between self-worth and self-understanding. The stats told him he was good at his job. He just never once asked himself if he believed it. The gap is the blank wall. And the blank wall analogy represented the unknown parts of him that he could not see.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

And later in that same episode, Lee, he gets emotional, catching himself mid-sentence. And I quote, you just turned left when you should have turned right, end quote. That's the moment it actually landed.

SPEAKER_05 4:41

You just turned left when you should have turned right. Man, I'm even feeling myself getting a little emotional at that.

SPEAKER_04 4:45

And I love that he identified self-worthers.

SPEAKER_07 4:49

Isn't that great? It was.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

And and I have a little book that one of my grandsons at age three decided to write in. And I didn't, I didn't want to shame him. So I said, I love the fact that you left me some love scribbles. So maybe we need to start writing some love scribbles on our way.

SPEAKER_06 5:10

Definitely. I think we often overlook our beliefs about ourselves. We think that it's selfish or self-centered in some way, but it leaves us looking to others to determine our value. But do we ever slow down long enough to determine if we actually agree? When he slowed down and interacted with the question, where am I in this? He saw his value for himself. And it was a game changer for him.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

And Lee, I just want to say here, we often think of the word value as something that comes from an external source. And we're only as valuable as someone else thinks we are. And I love the expression, we're born looking for someone who's looking for us. That's actually a quote by Kurt Thompson. And I think we forget that at a certain point we turn and look at ourselves and say, I'm grateful with humble gratitude that I'm the only one who can be me.

SPEAKER_07 6:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:15

And that turns into value.

SPEAKER_07 6:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

There's nothing more important in recognizing self-worth than nailing that down inside of us, driving the stake down right there.

SPEAKER_07 6:28

That's right.

The Tennis Reframe For Self-Talk

SPEAKER_04 6:29

So next we have a wife married almost 45 years, whose husband hearing loss compounded a communication gap that was already there.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

I love to play tennis. I play tennis four or five times a week. I play double, so I always have a partner. Yeah. I am at times in matches, I am so hard on myself that if I miss a ball or I make a mistake, I will verbally demean myself. And I've had a couple of partners that have said, Don't you talk to my friend that way?

SPEAKER_06 7:05

Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

And one is my sweet Australian friend. She says it in that beautiful Australian accent. Yeah. She says, Do not talk to my friend that way. That was really sobering for me.

SPEAKER_06 7:18

Yeah. Right after that moment in the same conversation is one of my favorite reframes of the season. She says she doesn't like the word control, so we swap it for influence. One word change. It's basically the whole book in summary.

SPEAKER_04 7:38

Wow, that tennis story gets me every time. Her own doubles partner in this thick Australian accent telling her, don't talk to my friend that way. That's how she finally heard it.

SPEAKER_06 7:50

You know, we have to have it repeated to us over and over again. We lose this sentiment so often because we overlook ourselves. And I think to your comment earlier, we need a community to help us see. I must consider how I see myself too. And I have to say, Lila, you helped me with that in my own life. And we all need these reminders. We need trustworthy family and friends to help speak truth into our lives. Because we must believe it for ourselves too. We can't only rely on the world around us to convince us of that truth.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

Isn't that solid? Because what we do have is a whole lot of input that's negative.

SPEAKER_07 8:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:41

And because of the way the brain is scanning the horizon for a threat, most of the time, that deep part of our brain, we're going to go negative when we think there's a negative point. And thank you for saying that. I do get great encouragement from you as well. And I think that's a part of how we're created.

SPEAKER_07 9:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

To interact with each other. But it's that voice, that inner critic, that bad editor.

SPEAKER_07 9:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 9:07

That voice of someone who maybe kept demeaning us, expecting us to be what they wanted us to be. And man, I love it when we realize that's the truth. That's right. We have value. So next we have a teacher and natural helper moving through grief after a relationship she thought was headed toward marriage.

Grief, Helping, And Self-Abandonment

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Gosh, no, it's that person. And that's just something that they have to deal with. And no matter what I do or say or how I show up as, it's not going to change it. And it's also not my job to fix it.

SPEAKER_06 9:39

And even that last sentence you said, it's not my job to fix it. How much, how much for you was that a real and still is a real struggle on you?

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Yeah, gosh, I think that's the hardest part. Yeah. Because the way I'm wired is as a helper.

SPEAKER_06 9:55

In part one, she can barely believe that sentence. It's not my job to fix it. She realized that she was so focused on how do I get them to like me? How do I get them to stay? She realized she conformed too much to others and compromised too much to others and kept experiencing a vicious cycle of conforming and then being left when abandonment was her greatest fear. The hard part for all of us to recognize is our fear of abandonment causes us to abandon ourselves. Right. We pretzel to make everyone stay, but we abandon us. There's the fear being realized even before the other person leaves.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

That's really rough because then you're left with the pretzeled self rather than the real self.

SPEAKER_06 10:51

That's exactly right. So you know what I hear you saying, Dewey? Is you're beginning to find you.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 10:58

You're beginning to see. Wait a minute, why won't I ream you, but I'll ream me. Yes. And you're the one who warranted the reaming. But I will ream myself when I didn't necessarily warrant a ream.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

I know.

SPEAKER_06 11:12

Her own counselor pointed out that she talks about people who've hurt her with so much grace, but tears herself apart internally. She said it hit her like a freight train.

SPEAKER_04 11:24

Wow. And that's the same double standard we heard back in episode four with the tennis story. Kindness for everyone except yourself. And she also reframes the word perfect into reconciled in this same episode. Man, that's a word I still think about. The definition to the word reconciled is to make compatible or consistent. I love this because it means compatible to her and consistent to her. She said, I'd rather have everyone else around me be okay. And I forgot about myself a lot. What am I really able to offer? Notice she was still abandoning herself.

SPEAKER_06 12:06

She was focused on everybody else still. And she was focused on what they were not going to get from her rather than what she was going to give them. It was just a reversal of the script. And when I pointed that out, she admitted, and perfectly named, it's an awkward tension. The awkward tension is considering you. And she's right. It is an awkward tension. Considering yourself in the midst of something does feel awkward.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Well, how often do we take on others' issues thinking they will make things better for us? Oh man. It's like we outsource our contentment. Oh, yeah. And we're so focused on outcome inside of another person or between us that we totally miss the process within ourselves.

SPEAKER_06 12:52

Yeah. I love that she came back to it's an awkward tension. You know, because she kept saying, I am wanted by others, but the challenge is, did she feel that she belongs? She had to reckon with the grief of how she struggles to see herself throughout the conversation, not making space for herself, therefore dealing with the capacity to do things she normally did. Meaning her capacity dropped. She didn't have as much energy because she was rewiring how she saw instances, every moment, every situation, having to consider herself. This is really common.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

You know, and Lee, honestly, it's harder and more draining to live in a fantasy than it is to live in reality. Reality is hard enough.

SPEAKER_07 13:46

100%.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

But when we're in this fantasy, we're now it's like we're writing, scripting, producing a play. That isn't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_07 13:56

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 13:56

And if it does, we've used all our energy in the writing, scripting, and producing that play.

SPEAKER_07 14:01

100%.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Okay. Well, next we have a mom working through a sense of urgency and control with her son.

Parenting Control Illusion Turns To Influence

SPEAKER_04 14:07

That widened into an old pattern with her own dad. Funny how those things connect.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

He got out the door and was we were pleasant with each other. It was nice.

SPEAKER_06 14:18

Wow. I love it when a plan comes together. So you found you in a chaotic moment instead of asking for the environment to solve for, you solved for. Is that a fair thing for me to say? Yes. That's the control illusion right there in an ordinary school morning.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

And you know, sometimes, Lee, I think we forget that control doesn't really mean making another person do what we want them to do. We're actually going so far forward as a parent to make sure they turn out okay.

SPEAKER_06 14:54

A hundred percent. And I think the reason why she had success in that morning was because she learned to ask the question, where am I in this moment? Rather than clamping down on the environment, which by her own admission leads to more friction. She found her own experience. This moment feels untethered and it leads to pressure to make the morning go the way she wanted it to. Exactly. For her, for her, she allowed her son to have his consequences and took care of herself and did not demand that his actions cared for her. And that's exactly the part that you're saying is we're so worried. And it makes sense. It's not a criticism, it's an observation. Right. We're worried. How are they gonna turn out ultimately?

SPEAKER_04 15:42

Right. We judge their entire future off of how they are right in that moment. And that is just not it. It's that one slice of time theory. Just let's just deal with this one slice of time and help them. And the best way she helped him was to make sure she knew where she was.

SPEAKER_06 15:58

Right. Because choices have consequences. And as parents, if we allow the consequences of their choices to fall upon their shoulders, not always ours, that's so true. We have a better chance for an outcome.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Now, this does not mean that we allow people, in this case, her son, to walk all over us. It just means that we don't have to control or have control over their behaviors, other people's behavior. We have influence. There's that word, that great word. Yes. So this mom allowed her influence to be that she let the consequences do the teaching, not her emotions and control do the teaching, which only really teaches the kids to push against you as the parent. And trust me, they know how far they can go until we break. They did. And she knew the consequences would come for his choice. That's right. And they weren't even administered by her.

SPEAKER_07 16:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

She was alongside.

SPEAKER_07 16:54

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 16:55

Not running in front of or pushing from behind or tugging. That's really a great, great situation.

unknown 17:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

Way to go, mom.

SPEAKER_06 17:03

Months later, the same pattern shows up, but over a golf shirt in the car. But this time, she catches it in seconds instead of losing the whole morning. It sounds to me like you're saying, I'm defending my sanity. I'm defending my what feels like a very ungrounded or untethered moment. I'm tethering back to what I know is my reality. That was a really big theme for this person. And I was so proud that she stopped the loop of looking for her sanity in the environment of what was being discussed. And as a reminder, she felt that her sanity was in question when her son was arguing that the attire of his sister was different than both her and her daughter's experience. Bottom line, his memory of events did not match their experience.

SPEAKER_04 18:07

She stated that she grew up in an environment where her opinions, experiences, et cetera, were overlooked. Thus, she looks to tether to what is agreed upon.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

For sure.

SPEAKER_06 18:26

But a lot of times when we grow up in chaos, we're looking for groundedness. Especially if we grew up in chaos that constantly overlooked our opinions, our experiences. Rather than saying, oh, it's because my parents were just terrible.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Right.

SPEAKER_06 18:44

I don't accept that. Right. And maybe a parent is terrible because there are some terrible parents, but I don't accept that as so your parent was terrible, therefore you get to limp along for the rest of your life. Then let's make your limp cool, man.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Oh, let's make your limp cool, man. Might be my favorite line of the whole season. This is her pattern loop or her limp as it was. And actually, that's not an uncommon loop for a lot of us.

SPEAKER_07 19:17

Right.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

And once she found herself and realized that she could tether back to herself and realize this conversation was not critical to the moment, she could leave it with her son to disagree about the shirt. She broke the pattern with her and with her kids.

SPEAKER_06 19:34

And you know, Lila, what's really cool about this is when we think about wanting to change how our the next generation turns out, it's exactly this. We change the pattern first with us, and therefore the opportunity for them to change the pattern is there for them.

SPEAKER_04 19:55

And you know, Lee, that has what we would call epigenetic impact. A hundred percent. And that that's gonna affect generations beyond just her kids.

SPEAKER_07 20:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

And that's a wonderful thing about this method.

SPEAKER_07 20:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 20:09

So last one, and it's the fullest story of the season.

Commitment Fear And The Call Back

SPEAKER_04 20:13

A woman who wanted a family but had spent years avoiding real commitment, pulling away the moment she started to care.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

That was an aha landing moment for sure.

SPEAKER_07 20:24

Love that.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Like, oh my God, the absolute disrespect that I am doing to myself.

SPEAKER_06 20:29

You know, it's like the old saying, a square peg and a round hole. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 20:34

This is like an oval peg and a round hole. It's like we're beating the fool out of that oval peg, trying to make it fit because my gosh, it should.

SPEAKER_07 20:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:43

But it's doing damage. It's like, but what about honoring the fact that you're oval and not round?

SPEAKER_03 20:50

Yeah. I would never try to squeeze myself into jeans two sizes too small.

SPEAKER_06 20:55

Then don't squeeze yourself into a relationship three sizes too small. You know, don't squeeze yourself into a relationship three sizes too small. Consider yourself. She had a lot of mind reading that was really textbook. His opinion of her was louder in her head than her own belief in herself.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

You know, here's the part we're sitting with, Lee is the man she'd pulled away from texted her asking to reconnect on the exact day this episode went live. Neither of them planned for that.

SPEAKER_06 21:34

No.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

So I had shut down and he's like, What's going on? Nothing. I'm gonna go to sleep. No, you never get off the phone like that. What's wrong? Nothing. I'll talk to you later. Okay, good night. And got off the phone and I'm laying there and I'm like, he didn't push me. He's not falling into my pattern. Right. It wasn't but 30 seconds because I remembered our rule, and I call back and he goes, That was a fast sleep. And I go, I broke the rule. He thought you broke the rule. You talked about it, conversation. We moved on and had our normal night.

SPEAKER_06 22:08

Did you learn something about you that night?

SPEAKER_03 22:10

That I can be open and honest.

SPEAKER_06 22:14

The thing that's so impactful in what you're describing from my perspective is when you got off the phone, you were focused on him.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

The first time?

SPEAKER_06 22:23

Yes. He didn't push. He didn't pursue. Yeah. He's not trying to fix.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

He's not fighting with me.

SPEAKER_06 22:30

Right. And then who did you come to?

SPEAKER_03 22:31

I don't care.

SPEAKER_06 22:32

Right, which is all about who?

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Him. It's external.

SPEAKER_06 22:35

Right. And so there's that pattern, right? That pattern of externalizing. But you came back where?

SPEAKER_03 22:42

To myself.

SPEAKER_06 22:42

And immediately said what?

SPEAKER_03 22:44

I broke the rule. I did this.

SPEAKER_06 22:47

Therefore, what'd you do? You picked up the phone.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

Yeah, I picked up the phone.

SPEAKER_06 22:52

This is the one I want us to sit with. She doesn't just use the method here, she names it right back to me. The pattern loop, the control illusion, the mind reading, the original language miss, all in one breath. It's not me teaching her the book in that moment. That's her having actually learned it and applying it.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

And she closes it out with this. I discovered I was always chasing the relationship. I genuinely just want to be with this person because of the person. What a great shift.

SPEAKER_06 23:37

Super, super powerful.

Six Threads Across The Season

SPEAKER_06 23:39

So the threads throughout the season, the dashboard, emotions as a dashboard light, not a verdict, that showed up on its own in episodes one, three, four, six, and eight.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

And the next thread, the second one, is the marathon. Healing as a course, not a finish. That marathon language came back on its own in episodes seven and nine.

SPEAKER_06 24:06

Yeah, and thread three is no blame. Almost every pattern traced back to an unsafe childhood. But the show never once turned into blaming the parents for it.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

That's so good. And then thread four moved us to the double standard. Guest being kinder to everyone except themselves. Episode four and seven both landed on that exact realization.

SPEAKER_06 24:35

The next is thread five. Control becomes influence. Control almost always needed to become influence. Episodes four, five, and nine all needed that exact word swap.

SPEAKER_04 24:50

Love a good word swap. And then we move to thread number six, which is real proof. And it wasn't hypothetical. Real wins happened outside the room in episodes five, eight, and nine and guessed actual lives between recordings.

SPEAKER_06 25:06

Yeah, that was really, really powerful for me.

What Surprised Us Most As Hosts

SPEAKER_04 25:10

I cannot imagine, and yet I get it. So great.

SPEAKER_06 25:15

So, Lila, what surprised you most in hosting this that you didn't expect going in?

SPEAKER_04 25:22

You know, Lee, I guess the one thing that surprised me the most was the absolute vulnerability of each one of these amazing people who were willing to say, you know what, I've got some issues, which I don't know a human who doesn't. And yet they were willing to talk about it anonymously, yet openly. And that was extremely influential.

SPEAKER_07 25:47

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

And tell me this is there a guest moment that stuck with you outside of the recording.

SPEAKER_06 25:56

You know, I think in their own way, all of them left a thread in my soul.

SPEAKER_04 26:02

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_06 26:03

The way that, like you said, every guest showed up so authentically and laid out things just so gracefully, and how they began being super hard on themselves, missing who they are, and then worked their way very gently to seeing themselves and the ones that came back and the ones that I've had contact with in between or after, just watching the growth, the positive experiences that have come from that.

SPEAKER_04 26:37

And you know, Lee, I do feel like when we use the term we have to do the work, that we think of that as a formula or a technique. And honestly, Lee, it just means applying what you've learned in real time. That is exactly right. And so, with that, what was it like hearing the book's concepts actually land, live inside of someone else's real situation? What was that like for you?

SPEAKER_06 27:05

Inspiring.

SPEAKER_04 27:06

Oh gosh, that's great.

SPEAKER_06 27:08

Absolutely inspiring that all of these years coming together and seeing them displayed in people's lives, all these years of study and pulling all of this together, that it had that kind of an impact that could be shown. Because what we do stays behind closed doors.

SPEAKER_07 27:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 27:26

And so you don't, I mean, we don't record our sessions.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

Right.

SPEAKER_06 27:30

And so you don't always get to see it played back for you. That part was so powerful.

SPEAKER_04 27:36

And it's so meaningful because it means there's been a connection, a connection beyond just the therapeutic relationship, but a connection inside of someone.

SPEAKER_07 27:46

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

And I have to say that's the goal.

SPEAKER_07 27:49

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

Is that they have a connection inside of themselves.

SPEAKER_06 27:53

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 27:53

As they go through life to apply.

SPEAKER_06 27:56

That's so true.

How To Tell You’re Changing

SPEAKER_06 27:57

Is there anything you'd say to a listener who's been applying this all season and wondering if it's working?

SPEAKER_04 28:04

Yes, you know, it's just like working out or studying or dieting or a health initiative. It takes time. In fact, I had some blood work done to see if my cholesterol had lowered. Well, it's a process.

SPEAKER_07 28:20

Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

It was a year-long process of doing something different. And a year sounds like a long time to see a difference. But honestly, I could not wait to see, did it work? Is there change? The good news is we don't have to measure it. There's no measuring stick with our internal experience. But once we stop looking for the external environment to change something inside of us, and inside of us being like a sieve, it you know, grows through holes, we we realize, you know what, I'm changing.

SPEAKER_07 28:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:55

And we can see that and feel that, and it's energizing and exciting. So I would say don't stop working because you can't measure it. Practice makes progress.

SPEAKER_06 29:08

It does. And I would say if you hear yourself speaking less from you and more from I, and not a selfish way, but thinking, what am I thinking about this? Considering yourself more, you're wholeheartedly making progress.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

Yeah, that's so true.

Book, Season Two, And Closing

SPEAKER_04 29:30

So now everything you heard this season came out of the same book that's out right now, Wait. Where am I in this by Dr. Lee Long.

SPEAKER_06 29:40

You can find it on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Now, season two.

SPEAKER_04 29:45

Oh boy, it's gonna be a doozy.

SPEAKER_06 29:48

A brand new spin to the wait method.

SPEAKER_04 29:51

And I think that what you're gonna find is that this is gonna be very interesting and relevant to a large majority of you listeners. So thank you all, anonymous guest, all of you, for your honesty this season. We could not have done this show without you and your willingness to show up vulnerable and look for connection within yourself. Way to go.

SPEAKER_06 30:19

Thank you. Take care of yourself and take care of your people.

SPEAKER_04 30:23

We can't wait to see you next season. And it's coming soon. Ask yourself this week and every week, moment by moment, where am I in this?